Ruby Reads: Stable Relation by Anna Blake

The dog that should be in this picture is laying underneath my lounge chair.

Yes, this is a dog blog. Yes, that's a horse on the cover. Yes, it's partly about horses. It's also about dogs, ducks, donkeys, cats, goats, llamas, letting go of the past and making your own way. This memoir was written by a dear friend of mine, and ever since I started reading it in rough draft form last spring, she's been encouraging me to be honest, insisting that she can take it. I have no doubt this strong, independent woman can handle my critical Capricorn book snobbery, but the truth is...I just love this book. I loved its earliest incarnation, shipped to me as loose letter-sized pages in a box and read in a single day, partly over pizza and a beer on Old South Pearl Street in Denver where I later learned Anna just happened to have had her jewelry gallery many years before she left city life in the dust of the open eastern Colorado prairie, partly at home with Ruby nestled in the crook of my knees on the sofa.

I read that first draft around the same time I read Wild, about Cheryl Strayed's one thousand mile tribute to her mother and search for her self worth. As I read Stable Relation for the third time, in its perfectly polished, striking-covered state, and again followed Anna's now comfortingly familiar but no less dramatic trail to the barn, I realized that the two books had similarly given me a kind of permission to go my own way. To surround myself with what speaks to me, whether in words or tail wags. Just like the book, my relationship with Anna is rooted in horses - she began as my riding instructor - but we discovered more in common as we discussed dogs, family, love, loss...the universal themes of life. She was a great support to me in the difficult decision to sell my young horse, the early challenges of adopting Ruby and a subtle cheerleader for failing Boca's fostering. We had many wonderful conversations over tea, muck buckets and slobbery dogs. She has hauled my horses - something that makes me almost sick with worry - from barn to barn over the past few years and last year Coro spent his summer with her, the perfect excuse for more visiting. So, you could say that I'm biased, but remember that I'm also a self-proclaimed book snob. I read around fifty books a year, mainly contemporary literary fiction, travel, memoir and informative nonfiction. Every room of my house is filled with books and I obsessively categorize my Goodreads shelves. I'm stingy with my star-ratings, but Stable Relation earns every last one of the five stars. 

From the dedication to the final sentence, I was captivated and inspired. In "Full Moon Over Broken Glass," I feel as if I'm right there on the porch, exhausted from the first day of work much harder than imagined in that first place of your very own. In "Dogs to the Rescue" we are introduced to a timid rescued doberman and a cattle dog who lives up to his lofty name of Hero. Anna's insight into animal personalities (animalities?) is incredible. I really feel like I've met all these characters. "Die Hard on the Prairie" is a rhythmically paced account of a terrifying blizzard in which I shivered along with the horses in their snow-bound stalls. "Wild Texas Wind" describes the grace and sacrifice of an equine mother and the moonlit gift she gave. "Visitors by Bus" is possibly my favorite chapter - one animal after another astonishes with its intuitive compassion for members of an unlikely audience. Anna's dressage partner, Spirit, is the shining white thread that weaves the story together, and you will thrill to their victories and admire their deep relationship of mutual devotion and respect. In the book's final third, we follow Anna with a sense of dread and foreboding into a dark past that shattered her sense of self and belonging, and back into the healing pastures of her herd. 

The very best books are those with pages and passages we can hang on to like our own. For a memoir to succeed, it needs to be relatable, and in this way Anna draws us in. Even when our experiences differ, Anna taps in to the universal bond between the human who is open to listening, and the animal who has wisdom to share. There is something for every animal lover, introvert, and independent mind here. Stable Relation is just the right length - the tidy chapters leave you hungry for more like the very best small-course meal, and by the end you realize the book contains so much more than could really fit between those covers. There is no sentimentality here - Anna describes with gutsy honesty the truth of living on a farm, both as a child and as an adult. You form a relationship with loss almost as if it were an animal of its own - a sneaky beast that finds us in snowstorms, quiet evenings or broad daylight. She manages to perfectly balance gravity with humor, the mood changing moment to moment with the immediacy of a horse's presence. 

I laughed at the antics of goats, ducks and donkeys. I cried at the profound and intimate impact that animals had on Anna's life, just as they have had on anyone who has allowed themselves to love in that wild and wordless way: while they are here, while they are leaving us, and long after they are gone. If you have ever saved your own life, if an animal was ever the one to save you, if you have a complicated family, if you have ever illustrated your own family album with faces you weren't related to by blood, but whose eyes and hearts mirrored your own, if you have ever been lifted by a horse or swept off your feet by a dog...you want to read this book. Anna has been teaching people how to connect with horses for years, and this book is a beautiful story of finding and connecting with your true self.

Follow Anna on Facebook, at her training and writing blogs and at Horse Advocates of Colorado. Stable Relation can be purchased on Amazon, where you can read many more rave reviews, and I am giving away a signed copy to one lucky winner. The winner will be selected randomly on July 27th and will have 48 hours to claim their prize - U.S. residents only, please. All you need to do to enter is leave a comment telling me about an animal that changed the direction of your life or rescued you in some way.

Edited to add:  Thanks to everyone who commented with their wonderful stories of beloved animal family members. The winner of the giveaway is Katie Habgood!

Reading With Ruby: Bark and Lunge by Kari Neumeyer

I have been following Kari Neumeyer's blog since starting my own almost a year ago, and was honored to receive a copy of her new reactive dog memoir, Bark and Lunge, for review. The memoir's subtitle is 'Saving My Dog From Training Mistakes' and chronicles Kari's experience with her dog Isis, a German shepherd from protection/security dog lines.

As the guardian of a reactive dog, I could relate to Kari's struggles with Isis, and I appreciated the honesty with which she describes her journey through several different trainers and methods. Isis was an especially challenging case, exhibiting leash aggression toward dogs and a dangerously unpredictable reactivity toward people, resulting in several instances of biting. (I'm not giving anything away since the back cover asks "How do make sure the dog you love never bites anyone (again)?.") This is one of a dog owner's worse fears, one that often results in a dog being given up, and one that requires immediate attention

I applaud Kari for the lengths she went to in finding a training solution for Isis that did not exacerbate her stress and anxiety, evolving from an early start with an old-school trainer who pushed prong collars, to a positive reinforcement trainer who helped to rehabilitate her. I also appreciate the variety of training methods described, the assertion that force-free trainers make mistakes too, and that not only do you need to seek out the training method that works best for your dog, but the individual trainer. 

There were a few parts of the book that didn't hold my interest as much, such as the lengthy description of Isis's favorite toy, but as a pet blogger who photographs and documents every move the ginger sisters make I can understand the desire to remember every last detail in tribute to a beloved dog. The introduction of her second dog, Leo, was when the story became most riveting, as Kari makes admirable and creative accommodations to maintain their multi-dog household. 

Kari's love for and dedication to Isis are apparent on every page, and although she fully admits her early mistakes I think many of us stumbled through training and relationship with our first dog(s). I read this book in a weekend, cheering on Isis's progress and holding my breath in those tense moments of reactive outburst that I know all too well. The most affecting lesson of this book is one that Kari quotes from Maya Angelou: 

You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.

I recommend this book to anyone who has loved a difficult dog, wants to read a heartfelt dog story, or is interested in the benefits of force-free training. Enter below to win a copy of your own!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

(Open to U.S. residents only, winner must respond to notification by email within 72 hours)

Disclaimer: I was given a copy of Bark and Lunge in exchange for my honest review.

Reading with Ruby: Hit By A Flying Wolf by Nicole Wilde

As a follower of Nicole Wilde's blog , I was excited to learn that she had a new book out, especially one that talked about her experience with her own challenging dogs. The book is divided into two segments. The first focuses on her current dogs, Sierra and Bodhi, who presented issues with separation anxiety, resource guarding, destructive behavior and resource guarding between the two of them. In the second part, Nicole describes her time working with the wolf-dogs of Villalobos Rescue Center which eventually resulted in her housing three of the wolf-dogs herself. I'm very interested in the differences between dogs, wolves and their various crosses after reading Ceiridwen Terrill's book, Part Wild. Nicole also emphasized the challenges that wolf-dogs face in the human world, and the complications of keeping them in the back yard. 

Hit by a Flying Wolf is written in a friendly, conversational tone, with humorous moments as well as the inevitable heartbreaking ones that come with any dog story. It also includes two groups of color photos of the dogs and wolf-dogs that have touched Nicole's life. I especially enjoyed the narrative about Sierra and Bodhi, who had moments of not getting along much like my girls Freya and Lasya. Nicole's honesty about her frustrations illustrates that difficult dogs are difficult dogs, even for professionals! In living with wolf-dogs in the California desert, Nicole also dealt with some unusual perils, such as wildfires and rattlesnakes. This was a fun book to read, written with obvious heart and a great deal of compassion for our canine and lupine brethren. 

Disclaimer: Nicole Wilde provided a copy of the book to me in exchange for my honest review. 

My Five Favorite Dog Books

cover images from Goodreads

Inspired by the dog book post on My Imperfect Dog yesterday, I thought I would share some of my favorites which have stayed with me over the years. 

The first is a novel, The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst, which also has a place in my top ten of all categories.  I have read it twice, and the melancholy magic of its mystery was not diminished even when I knew the outcome.  The book follows a man who tries to piece together the circumstances of his wife's death through attempts to illicit communication with the sole witness: their soulful Rhodesian Ridgeback, Lorelei.  It is a beautiful novel about love and loss and the secrets we all keep, and it's one that I can hardly talk about without a lump in my throat.  

It would be redundant to say that Dog Years is "poetic," since Mark Doty is a prominent contemporary poet.  He resides in a world of metaphor, and for that reason he cuts into the difficult, the unsayable, with a blade of revelation. This is so much more than a dog book. We're given glimpses of a human life that is woven into and around the lifetime two retrievers and a through dreams, vignettes and intimate scenes. It portrays the immediacy that dog love demands, the beauty of it at its most basic and wild.   

Pack of Two was one of the first dog memoirs that I read, and still one of the most affecting. The author, Caroline Knapp, struggled with eating disorders and addiction before getting her German Shepherd, Lucille, and learning how to take care - and be taken care of by - a dog.  It's a beautiful journey of healing and friendship, of both the canine and human variety as Knapp meets kindred spirits at the dog park along the way.  It's the tale of a first dog and the independence and strength they can help us find.  I related so much to this book because I adopted Lasya at a time when nothing was stable or certain, but I felt that with her by my side everything would be okay.  Tragically, Caroline Knapp passed away at an all-too-young age.  Her best friend Gail Caldwell wrote a tribute to their friendship, Let's Take the Long Way Home, and makes mention of their many dog walks together.  

The New Work of Dogs by Jon Katz is an unsentimental look at the very different lives of twelve dogs in a New Jersey city, from service dogs to shelter dogs.  It is a powerful portrayal at the changing role of dogs in society, and suggests that their modern jobs may be more difficult and complicated than we realize.  

I was lucky enough to meet the author of Part Wild, Ceiridwen Terrill, at a book-signing here in Denver.  I really admire Terrill's bravery in telling the story of her wolfdog Inyo and illuminating the heartbreak and danger of trying to contain wild animals in human bonds. She went farther than personal memoir with a great deal of research into the challenges facing wild wolves, the still-debated origin of domestic dogs, and the "genetic tameness" experiments with foxes in Russia. She is also an accomplished writer and describes nature and its creatures in eloquent detail. While Terrill was drawn in by the fairy tale allure of wolfdogs, she is now an advocate for for legislation and enforcement banning the continued sale and breeding of these animals. This is a compelling and important book emphasizing the differences between wolves and dogs.   

What are some of your favorite dog books?  

Reading with Ruby: The Second Chance Dog by Jon Katz

I've read several Jon Katz books over the years, my favorite being The New Work of Dogs about our modern relationship with our best friend.  If I remember correctly, even when his own dogs were the subject, Katz did not get into many details about his personal or family life in previous books, and The Second Chance Dog is probably his most introspective to date, a story of love and redemption, of both dog and human conquering fear.

While some people may not be as interested in the parts of the book that stray from the dogcentric, I enjoyed learning a bit more about Katz, his struggles with anxiety, and the beginnings of his relationship with Maria, whose Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix Frieda is the story's star.

When Katz meets Frieda, she is spending most of her time in the studio barn with fiber artist, Maria, Katz's love interest.  Frieda was in the shelter for a year before Maria adopted her, and Katz goes through considerable effort to piece together her heartbreaking past.  Although she has bonded deeply with Maria, Frieda is frighteningly unfriendly to all other residents of Bedlam Farm: human, hooved, pawed and feathered.  Katz makes Frieda his personal project, knowing that she will have to be integrated into farm life if he and Maria are to be together.

He is obviously a great lover of animals, but Katz has a uniquely pragmatic philosophy about their role in our lives which has been met with some harsh judgment, particularly in regard to his Border Collie Orson as detailed in A Good Dog.  He is a prolific blogger, branching out to subjects beyond dogs such as spirituality and homelessness.

I did find myself unsettled by the fact that his greatest breakthrough with Frieda was due to an inadvertently physical incident, but overall he exercised great compassion and patience during her rehabilitation.  He does not believe in coddling or anthropomorphizing animals, and in fact suggests that we do them harm by doing so.  Whether or not you agree with his viewpoint, this is still a worthwhile read, and one that brought tears to my eyes with passages like this one, from a dream he had while working with Frieda:

"We looked at each other for the longest time, and then I broke the silence and said, "I don't know what to do with you.  I love you and want to live with you, but I am sad and frustrated. I've tried everything I can think of but what else can I do? What do want from me?"

And then, without moving her lips or snout, without making a sound, Frieda spoke to me.

"Trust me," she said.""

This book was a Christmas gift from my boyfriend, who needs a clever alias.  I gave The Second Chance Dog  four stars on Goodreads.

Dogs add such richness to our lives, and I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday winter afternoon than curling up with a good dog book and a good dog.  I'll be continuing this series and hope you'll share some of your favorites, too!