Springing Forward Into Optimism

Trying to fall asleep last night at an earlier hour than usual because I knew the time change would be taking its toll on Monday morning, thoughts and conversations from the weekend coalesced into something thematic:  

 

Take the leap, spring ahead, trust in what you don’t know. 

Before turning off my light, I had just read the first few chapters of Relaxed and Forward, a collection of horse training essays written my friend Anna Blake. We share the idea that training is about relationship, and that's why her training book is less how-to and more meditation. We had dinner together Friday night and discussed the life-changing magic of the long-line and flying disc for Ruby. Earlier in the month I wrote about using the long-line for recall training but we’ve been doing much more goofing off than training. The interesting thing is…goofing off is working wonders.

Ruby Reads: Stable Relation by Anna Blake

The dog that should be in this picture is laying underneath my lounge chair.

Yes, this is a dog blog. Yes, that's a horse on the cover. Yes, it's partly about horses. It's also about dogs, ducks, donkeys, cats, goats, llamas, letting go of the past and making your own way. This memoir was written by a dear friend of mine, and ever since I started reading it in rough draft form last spring, she's been encouraging me to be honest, insisting that she can take it. I have no doubt this strong, independent woman can handle my critical Capricorn book snobbery, but the truth is...I just love this book. I loved its earliest incarnation, shipped to me as loose letter-sized pages in a box and read in a single day, partly over pizza and a beer on Old South Pearl Street in Denver where I later learned Anna just happened to have had her jewelry gallery many years before she left city life in the dust of the open eastern Colorado prairie, partly at home with Ruby nestled in the crook of my knees on the sofa.

I read that first draft around the same time I read Wild, about Cheryl Strayed's one thousand mile tribute to her mother and search for her self worth. As I read Stable Relation for the third time, in its perfectly polished, striking-covered state, and again followed Anna's now comfortingly familiar but no less dramatic trail to the barn, I realized that the two books had similarly given me a kind of permission to go my own way. To surround myself with what speaks to me, whether in words or tail wags. Just like the book, my relationship with Anna is rooted in horses - she began as my riding instructor - but we discovered more in common as we discussed dogs, family, love, loss...the universal themes of life. She was a great support to me in the difficult decision to sell my young horse, the early challenges of adopting Ruby and a subtle cheerleader for failing Boca's fostering. We had many wonderful conversations over tea, muck buckets and slobbery dogs. She has hauled my horses - something that makes me almost sick with worry - from barn to barn over the past few years and last year Coro spent his summer with her, the perfect excuse for more visiting. So, you could say that I'm biased, but remember that I'm also a self-proclaimed book snob. I read around fifty books a year, mainly contemporary literary fiction, travel, memoir and informative nonfiction. Every room of my house is filled with books and I obsessively categorize my Goodreads shelves. I'm stingy with my star-ratings, but Stable Relation earns every last one of the five stars. 

From the dedication to the final sentence, I was captivated and inspired. In "Full Moon Over Broken Glass," I feel as if I'm right there on the porch, exhausted from the first day of work much harder than imagined in that first place of your very own. In "Dogs to the Rescue" we are introduced to a timid rescued doberman and a cattle dog who lives up to his lofty name of Hero. Anna's insight into animal personalities (animalities?) is incredible. I really feel like I've met all these characters. "Die Hard on the Prairie" is a rhythmically paced account of a terrifying blizzard in which I shivered along with the horses in their snow-bound stalls. "Wild Texas Wind" describes the grace and sacrifice of an equine mother and the moonlit gift she gave. "Visitors by Bus" is possibly my favorite chapter - one animal after another astonishes with its intuitive compassion for members of an unlikely audience. Anna's dressage partner, Spirit, is the shining white thread that weaves the story together, and you will thrill to their victories and admire their deep relationship of mutual devotion and respect. In the book's final third, we follow Anna with a sense of dread and foreboding into a dark past that shattered her sense of self and belonging, and back into the healing pastures of her herd. 

The very best books are those with pages and passages we can hang on to like our own. For a memoir to succeed, it needs to be relatable, and in this way Anna draws us in. Even when our experiences differ, Anna taps in to the universal bond between the human who is open to listening, and the animal who has wisdom to share. There is something for every animal lover, introvert, and independent mind here. Stable Relation is just the right length - the tidy chapters leave you hungry for more like the very best small-course meal, and by the end you realize the book contains so much more than could really fit between those covers. There is no sentimentality here - Anna describes with gutsy honesty the truth of living on a farm, both as a child and as an adult. You form a relationship with loss almost as if it were an animal of its own - a sneaky beast that finds us in snowstorms, quiet evenings or broad daylight. She manages to perfectly balance gravity with humor, the mood changing moment to moment with the immediacy of a horse's presence. 

I laughed at the antics of goats, ducks and donkeys. I cried at the profound and intimate impact that animals had on Anna's life, just as they have had on anyone who has allowed themselves to love in that wild and wordless way: while they are here, while they are leaving us, and long after they are gone. If you have ever saved your own life, if an animal was ever the one to save you, if you have a complicated family, if you have ever illustrated your own family album with faces you weren't related to by blood, but whose eyes and hearts mirrored your own, if you have ever been lifted by a horse or swept off your feet by a dog...you want to read this book. Anna has been teaching people how to connect with horses for years, and this book is a beautiful story of finding and connecting with your true self.

Follow Anna on Facebook, at her training and writing blogs and at Horse Advocates of Colorado. Stable Relation can be purchased on Amazon, where you can read many more rave reviews, and I am giving away a signed copy to one lucky winner. The winner will be selected randomly on July 27th and will have 48 hours to claim their prize - U.S. residents only, please. All you need to do to enter is leave a comment telling me about an animal that changed the direction of your life or rescued you in some way.

Edited to add:  Thanks to everyone who commented with their wonderful stories of beloved animal family members. The winner of the giveaway is Katie Habgood!

Animals Are an Introvert's Superpower

As long as I'm leading with my dog, you'd never guess that I'm a shy, quiet person.

I had a really wonderful weekend filled with dogs, horses and friends old and new. As an introvert, sometimes I find too many social engagements draining, but where animals are involved I can be downright outgoing. As I babble non-stop about my dogs or my horse, one might never know that I am often nervous around new people or that I take a long time to let my guard down. It's one reason I gravitate toward writing, where I can express myself much more effectively and take the time to say what I mean. I can feel awkward or out of place in many settings, and sometimes have to talk myself into parties or events. I'll be the one in the corner, talking to the dog...

As much as I enjoy a quiet day at the barn with my horse, one of the perks of boarding is forming a circle of barn friends. These are the people that will keep an extra eye on your horse when you're out of town, lend you their fly spray if you've run out and most importantly, join you out on the trail or in the arena. Riding is not exactly the safest sport, and it's good to have company. I've been at my new barn for about two months now, but aside from the barn manager I haven't gotten to know anyone else so I was happy to share the arena with another rider on Saturday. She was working a young horse and I was just soaking up the gorgeous day on Coro's back. We were both doing our own thing, but we finished up at the same time and cooled our horses out together, making leisurely laps as we mutually praised our horses, patted their necks, and got acquainted by way of our equine histories. Despite riding different styles and disciplines, we found more in common than not, and I left the barn feeling so thankful for horses and the people that love them.

I didn't think I would ever be the type of person to start a meetup group, but when I discovered how many island dogs have found their way to Colorado, that's exactly what I did. Yesterday marked the very first Colorado Potcake Meetup at Elk Meadow Dog Park in Evergreen. Boca and I met two of her fellow potcakes from the Humane Society of Grand Bahamas and their nice people. We let the dogs romp in the fenced area before and after our loop hike on the off-leash trail system (I kept Boca on-leash) and shared our adoption stories and other canine-centric conversation. I noticed that there were no uncomfortable silences among a group of strangers, as we laughed and exclaimed over our dogs' antics and discussed their various quirks as well as our different rescue experiences. The weather could not have been more perfect, and the dogs seemed to enjoy each other's company. Boca was calm and polite with every dog she met and came trotting joyfully back to me whenever I'd call for her in the fenced area. I think that it's sometimes difficult for adults (especially introverts) to meet people outside of the workplace, and these wonderful dogs from the Bahamas not only made each of our separate lives better, but offered the opportunity for new friendships.

Growing up as an only child surrounded by pets and farm animals (which were also pets), I have always been most comfortable in the nonverbal space inhabited by the furred, finned and feathered, but I find that animals can also provide us with connection and confidence when serving as conduits between our own kind. No matter our differences, it seems that people from all walks of life can find common ground when sharing the path with animals. They lift us up when we're feeling small and give us a voice when we're feeling mute. This weekend I was reminded how powerful they can be, just by being themselves.

Are You Listening?

Recently I moved my Paso Fino gelding, Coro, who had been boarded over an hour away for the past year, to a new stable. My main goal was simply to have him closer to me, as I wanted to be able to visit and ride more often. I wanted an arena to ride in - it didn't have to be indoors - and ideally, some trails. Beyond that, all of my criteria were about Coro. I had several barn managers scoff at some of my considerations - mentioning that I wanted a place less busy or with more grazing -  and say things like "it shouldn't be about what your horse wants" or "who's running the show - you or your horse?" At 25 years old, with two significant health issues and having already experienced a lot of change in the last few years, my answer is that it is about what my horse wants, within reason. I know which conditions he does best under, and I'd like to see him thrive for ten more years. I wanted him to be able to graze most days, to have shelter in bad weather, an active but not stressful social life, and an individualized feeding program including his daily medications. If that meant I drive a little farther, don't have an indoor arena, or pay a bit more - so be it. After a month of searching, calling and driving, I did find that perfect place for my old guy - one I think we will both be very happy with. I did not choose the barn that was a short 11 miles from me, because it had no grazing. I did not choose the barn that had an indoor arena, a heated lounge and beautiful trail riding, because there were holes in the pastures and fewer turnout days. I prioritized Coro's needs and found a picturesque little red barn tucked away behind a hill that offers his own private pasture and a safe, airy run. He has already settled in wonderfully and I think I made the right choice.

My father believes that having pets at all is a selfish choice, and I see how this could be argued philosophically. Having rescue animals with known backgrounds, having seen exactly where they came from and how their lives are changed, I truly think my animals are better off with me and that Boca, especially, is so obviously grateful for her new home. Even if it is inherently selfish, I do my very best to make their lives as happy, healthy and fulfilled as I am able. I was raised to put animals first by a woman who ran into a burning barn to save our chickens and rabbits. You can see why my dedication to them might be construed as a little over the top, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I stumbled across an old blog post in support of shock collars the other day, and as disappointed as I was since this is a blog I regularly follow, I had to read its entirety as well as the comments. The most discouraging commenter stated that she "had" to use a shock collar in order to take her dog to the dog park or let it off leash - two activities that should be enjoyable to the dog, but because they caused it fear or anxiety and just were not within its realm of comfort, pain and intimidation was employed so that it could conform to the commenter's ideal of a "normal" dog. I find this rationale heartbreaking.

For me, it is far more important that I am interacting with my animals with softness, kindness and grace whenever possible, than that they are fitting into some cookie cutter standard of what they are "supposed" to do or existing in places of expectation. I have made many changes and compromises for Ruby and I do so without hesitation. I mourned the loss of some ideas I had about the dog I wanted her to be, but gained so much more in seeing the dog she is and what she has to teach me. There is nothing more valuable than her trust. In Boca, by some twist of tropical fortune, I very likely do have the farmers-market-dog, the coffee-shop-patio dog, but we're taking it slow. I am interested in conversation, not conformity, and I know that they have more to tell me than I could ever tell them. I think that if we are listening closely, if we let them "run the show" sometimes, our lives with animals can be infinitely more rewarding.

Eat, Play, Love

Our weather this past weekend was not as spring-like as I had hoped, with quite a lot of chilly wind, but there are some undeniable signs cropping up that warm my spirits: grass-stained paws, shedding horses, new foals, tiny purple flowers emerging from dormant ground. Ruby and I spent a couple of days among friends, family, and playmates in Peyton and Colorado Springs. After our usual stop at the feed store we ventured on to my former riding instructor's home for some tea, writerly chat and equine shenanigans. Ruby's second-favorite labradoodle lives there; he and a gingerly corgi fellow play with Ruby in shifts allowing much-needed breath-catching and drool-drying time (for them, not Ruby, who ran laps around the yard by herself while the others watched). Ruby is so happy in the company of other dogs - it's made me all the more excited for our Bahamian Potcake to arrive! 

 

The humans spent some time observing the humorous antics of Pippi the mini-mule and Bhim the mini-horse, who would like you to know that he is very tough, very fancy and very brave - little king of all he surveys. Bhim is a rescue horse from Ruby Ranch Horse Rescue, in training with my friend (although with his vibrant personality we have to wonder who is training who!) He is yet another example of the resilient spirits of second-chance animals. He just happens to be my favorite colorway, too. I think he and Ruby could put on a real dog-and-pony show! Even though Ruby was outdoors with her dog-friends, it was endearingly flattering that she kept her eye on me the entire time we were in the horse pens. She immediately curled up in the backseat after we said reluctant goodbyes and continued on to visit my own horses and brush whirlwinds of black and white hair into the swirling gusts. 

 

Ruby spent the evening playing and relaxing with her cousins at my aunt's house while we went out to a delicious Spanish tapas dinner. This was a wonderful treat for me since I'm coming up already on the one-year anniversary of my trip to Spain. The next morning, Ruby showed off some of her tricks for my grandmother. I've been working on changing the cue for her hind leg lift to the far more amusing "how do boys pee?" and my grandmother got a big kick out of that. My aunt and I went out to breakfast and visited some estate sales, where characteristically my only purchase was a dog dish. Ruby slept all the way home, and my dad who had come down for the weekend said he had never seen her so subdued! She snoozed away the rest of the afternoon and evening.

 

On Sunday we had a quiet day at home catching up on laundry and cleaning. I took Ruby into a nearby vacant field where she likes to dig on the hillside and we saw a large, healthy garter snake! Ruby was definitely curious but appropriately cautious, which I was glad to see. Some of the hiking areas near us are prime rattlesnake country. Ruby was remarkably still tired and I took full advantage of a lazy day, reading Plenty In Life Is Free. This slim booklet is a new favorite, and one that speaks so deeply to my personal philosophy about our relationships with animals and our ethical duties to them. I feel so lucky to live in a time when we are constantly having conversations about doing better, and that I have a dog like Ruby whose sensitive, complex nature is a daily mirror for my own progress.

P.S. If you would like to see even more pictures of Ruby in various states of adorable, follow us on Instagram!

Spring Preview: A Playdate and Horsing Around

Happy Ruby Tuesday! I'm delighted that we have sprung forward into longer days and lighter evenings - Ruby and I are already taking advantage of more walking time and sunshine.  I've been taking her tug outside with us on some of my lunch breaks and playing with her on the clubhouse balcony where she can drag her leash and play some fetch.  I also got her a Nerf ball that we kick around on the common lawn.  It's encouraging that she can focus on play in the great outdoors, and I'm hoping we can use the tug especially as a training tool.  

Last Friday Ruby had a playdate at the baseball field with her Chug chum, Cosmo.  We are so lucky to have this just a short drive away, as it allows the dogs a safe place to run and play. There was one other dog there this time, another Jack Russell mix! She and Ruby had a rather stiff, hackle-y greeting but their tails were soon wagging and they mostly ignored one another. Ruby concentrated on playing chase with Cosmo and fetching her flying disc. The weather was just starting to change, and the damp field resulted in muddy white stockings for Ruby.  They ran around for about thirty minutes before the rain got heavier, and we left just as it really started to come down, later turning to snow.  Ruby had a bath back home - like most dogs, she doesn't love it but is fairly cooperative.  She does seem to enjoy the drying-off part, rolling around in the towel and acting silly, followed by a crazed case of the zoomies.  

On Sunday I needed to take some feed down to my horses and decided to let Ruby ride along. I forgot to put her Thundershirt on but she did fairly well on the trip, especially considering it was an unseasonably warm day and there were many motorcycles and cyclists out. When we see one of her triggers I say "peanut butter!" and offer her Treat Toob. She settled down once on the freeway and also did not get car-sick - hooray! Ruby has only met my horses on one previous occasion, before I moved them last fall. I walked her out to their pasture on her leash, and when they approached us, she panicked, barked madly at them and tried to escape, poor girl.  It wasn't what I was expecting - in fact I had named her after a fearless, salty horse-wrangler - but given her anxiousness and reactivity I shouldn't have been surprised.  

It was so beautiful out on Sunday, and I wanted to spend some time brushing my shedding horses, so I decided to take Ruby over to their pen to see how she would do.  She was cautiously curious, retreating if they made sudden movements but also wanting to sniff them, and she didn't bark at all! After initial introductions, I was able to loop her leash around the fence and ask her to stay on one side while I groomed flurries of black and white hair out of Coro and Notchee.  She eventually laid down to bask in the sun.  I was so impressed! I think the true turning point was Ruby's first taste of horse manure - a canine delicacy, and one that convinced her that horses are not so bad after all. There are also chickens, ducks, goats and barn cats where the horses live, so it was a really exciting day for Ruby. She curled up in the back seat for most of the ride home and was sleepy and snuggly the rest of the day. I considered our afternoon with the horses a wild success!

We've progressed to Day 5 of the Relaxation Protocol, and with only one bobble on the first time through yesterday I think it will be an easier one. Because of the layout of my house, I don't have a lot of options where I can do all of the various tasks, so I have to get creative with some of the numbers of steps. During one of the tasks Ruby flopped down dramatically into her "relax" position - laying flat on her side - as if to say "All right, already, I'm relaxed!" It was so funny. I like to reward her after the RP sessions with something more active and fun, so last night I turned two of my kitchen chairs over on their sides to make a little jump course for her. I am also working on leg weaves, and getting her into position on my right side in a sit (the cue we use for this is "get set.") 

I hope spring brings crocuses, mud-puddles and birdsong to your neck of the woods, and mine!